The Complete Works of Artemus Ward
上QQ阅读APP看本书,新人免费读10天
设备和账号都新为新人

第57章

The strongest side got the unfortunate German's vote and he went sore and bleeding home and satisfied, no doubt, that this is a great country, and that the American Eagle will continue to be a deeply interesting bird while his wings are in the hands of patriots like the above.Scenes like the above (only our description is very imperfect) were played over and over again, at every ward in the city, yesterday.Let us be thankful that the country is safe--but we should like to see some of the ward politicians gauged to-day, for we are confident the operation would exhibit an astonishing depth of whiskey.

Hurrah for the Bar--Stangled Spanner!

1.63.FISHING EXCURSION.

The Leviathan, Capt.Wm.Sholl, left the foot of Superior Street at 6 o'clock yesterday morning for a fishing excursion down the lake.

There were about twenty persons in the party, and we think we never saw a more lovely lot of men.The noble craft swept majestically out of the Cuyahoga into the lake, and as she sped past a retired coal-dealer's office the Usher borrowed our pocket-handkerchief (which in the excess of his emotion he forgot to return to us) to wipe away four large tears which trickled from his light bay eyes.

On dashed the Leviathan at the rate of about forty-five knots an hour.The fishing-ground reached, the clarion voice of Sholl was heard to ejaculate, "Reef home the jib-boom, shorten the main-brace, splice the forecastle, and throw the hurricane-deck overboard!

Lively, my lads!" "Aye, aye, Sir!" said Marsh the chaplain of the expedition, in tones of thunder, and the gallant party sprang to execute the Captain's orders, the agile form of first-officer Hilliard being especially conspicuous in reefing the jib-boom.

Lines were cast and the sport commenced.It seemed as if all the fish in the lake knew of our coming, and had collected in that particular spot for the express purpose of being caught! What teeth they had--sufficiently good, certainly, to bite a cartridge or anything else.The Usher caught the first fish--a small but beautiful bass, whose weight was about three inches and a half.The Usher was elated at this streak of luck, but his hand did not tremble and he continued to hand in fish until at noon he had caught thirteen firkins full and he announced that he should fish no more.

Cruelty was no part of his nature and he did not think it right to slaughter fish in this way.Cross, Barney, and the rest, were immensely successful, and hauled in tremendous quantities of bass, perch, Mackinaw trout, and Connecticut shad.Bone didn't catch a fish, and we shall never forget the sorrowful manner in which the poor fellow gazed upon our huge pile of beautiful bass which occupied all of the quarter deck and a large portion of the forcastle.Having fished enough the party went ashore, where they found Ab.McIlrath (who was fanning himself with a barn door), the grand Commandant (who in a sonorous voice requested the parties, as they alighted from the small boats, to "Keep their heads out of water"), the General (who was discussing with the Doctor the propriety of annexing East Cleveland to the United States), and several distinguished gentlemen from town, who had come down with life-preservers and ginger pop.After disposing of a sumptuous lunch, the party amused and instructed each other by conversation, and about 3 o'clock the shrill whistle of the Leviathan was sounded by Mike the urbane and accomplished engineer, and the party were soon homeward bound.It was a good time.

End The Complete Works of Artemus Ward, Part 2by Charles Farrar Browne With a biographical sketch by Melville D.Landon, "Eli Perkins"